Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
