somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
