Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
