dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
