i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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