i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize