he was CRYING into my vagina
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to be your penis for a week.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
