so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
