I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
