He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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