I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize