I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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