ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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