Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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