Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
