i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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