summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize