come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize