i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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