did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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