that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well you can't waste a boner
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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