he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
