The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
