so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
