@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
