Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
