ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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