there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
