two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
