Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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