ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
