I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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