dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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