I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
