Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize