I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
