he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
