Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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