absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
