Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
