What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
