whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize