How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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