Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
