I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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