I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
