peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how does that bad decision feel?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
