sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
