Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
