Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
