sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
