member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
