I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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