Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
