Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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