I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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