those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize