Cold hands, warm shart.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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