so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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