i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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