I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
